...These walls...

I'm just gonna start writing and not push the backspace button and allow my words run through me.. let me feel them.. so here it goes.. i enter this house and i feel anxiety as the houses memories play like little reels of tape and the triggers that spike my mind frame.. i hate sitting here.. i hate these walls.. for the remind me of what i don't have anymore..the unconditional love that was once surrounded me.. is gone and it makes me..scared.. i know i have given myself a year to get through this .. passed my issues that surround my path..and sometimes even stop me in my stride.. but you know.. its all about practicing the new tools i have.. i don't need to hurt myself to stop me from feeling this hurt.. i don't like feeling this hurt.. i rather run from it avoid it .. dismiss it..like i was dismissed.. i know that i am happier now.. but the nights are still as hard as the first night.. oh my i hate this house !!.. i think its time for me to find my own space.. so i cant be taunted anymore..