Letting Go and Let God...
looking back over the last five months...i woke up from a horrible mess.... with this new understanding of me..and what i needed to continue this path of healing.. i have looked at my past head on and learned to stop living there..making sure i don't carry those burdens into my new relationship..but i have this uncontrollable fear.. and i acknowledge.. the fact that some of the insecurities are coming up.. and I'm trying my best to work through them.. so the same bullshit doesn't happen.. i am learning to step more into the witness of the situation and stand there.. and realize that the storyteller.. needs to be reign in.. that it is okay to allow yourself to count on someone else and be vulnerable and can allow someone else in..i have learned to allow my joy to be overflowing.. i am in control of the energy that i project into a room.. i can light up and be happy part of the world.. i can now take complement with out cringing.. i can take peoples word for what its worth.. and see the person full that stand in front of me.. or beside me.. and behind me.. and i have learned to stand for myself.. i have come from this dark place into the light that surrounds me.. i am risen from the ashes of the past.. into this beautiful flightful bird.. with Great color.. i feel free to move forward.. into this loving relationship.. he stands beside me.. with his hand on my shoulder and one on my heart.. he understands the path i had behind me and i am willing and ready and able to start this beautiful dance with.. i stand in the present of things and can gladly say.. Everything is right within me.. and around me... i am right where I am needing to be.. starting this great exciting path.. i feel loved.respected.understood.communicative.Trustful.Important.Special.Challenged.Safe...
i read somewhere.. that if you want growth find someone that with disagree with you ... if you wanna stay content.. get someone that agrees with you...i have found my match in many ways..but he also challenges my belief system..his love is pure..and he surrounds my cup..i finally feel like i got my "equally yoked" match.. which is an amazing feeling..but quite scary..i feel good tension.. a little guarded.. but i will work through it.. because I'm committed to this process. :) I'm not going anywhere..<3
