sometimes life gets in the way.,,soo...im starting a new chapter..

  With a pregnancy with my second child..Beautiful reward is going to be a big sister. shes excited.. but kinda reclusive on the idea.. she already has a baby brother that she is already annoyed with lol.. but shes cut from my cloth.. i understand her alot. i miss her. but i get to see her alot these days.. its quiet nice not fighting with them to see her.. i just hope it continues to work out..this way.. but this new baby is 13 weeks along.. and cooking up a great storm inside me..a striving situation for stability,.  life gets hectic and outta sorts.. when impulse control and relevance in seeing past your own way of thinking  long enough to get out of your own way is reclusive  and far from reality.. is hard to deal with on a regular basis..were acting out is okay..only if he does it.. but not acceptable to be called on it.. but i guess that's what i get for asking for a child..and not get lost in that down fall.. im hoping as soon as he hold his child.. it will give him a calmer perception..but it might just make it worst .. children are stressors in daily normal life.. how is he supposed to control him self long enough to care for someone other then his own beating heart.??.. in some ways i know im going to be doing this alone with out any real help from him.. and i have come to accept that im okay with that.. and im learning that i cant expect gold outta copper... it just doesnt work..